As I complete Season 5 of Glee, I am finishing up the “rewatch” section of this newsletter series. I know the broad plot beats of Season 6, but I’ve been too scared to touch it. To celebrate finishing the “rewatch”, I want to do a retrospective on what I learned, forgot, and charted on Google Sheets.
NEW DISCOVERIES (AKA New Directions)
The second half of Season 5 actually rules. The Glee Club chapter is wrapped up with great fanfare and fun by April Rhodes and Holly Holliday, and then the gang all goes to New York to get into hijinks. Probably the most fun I’ve had since Season 3. I think that sticking to one location brought back the juice.
There was ample opportunity for a New York spinoff *or* an LA spinoff. There’s got to be a pilot script somewhere where Mercedes and Mike are besties navigating the recording industry and ballet school. Don’t blame me if this becomes my Roman Empire.
MVP Actor Awards for the seasons, with some standout plays linked:
S1 - Stephen Tobolowsky
S2 - Chris Colfer
S3 - Naya Rivera
S4 - Jayma Mays
S5 - Lea Michele
“Wheels” (S1E9) was way better than what I remembered. Kevin McHale’s voice deserved the spotlight, and the plots are *classic* Glee.
If there were to be a Glee Reboot (Gleeboot), I think the only way to capture the show’s OG magic would be to cast a young ensemble of nobodies. No one with more than 5k followers on Instagram. It needs to overwhelm us with new talent. For example, Ben Platt can be a guest star, but he can’t be in the main cast.
It is absolutely batshit crazy that Finn Hudson does a kissing booth in “Silly Love Songs” (S2E12). Are you kidding me?! You’re telling me that Principal “here are the songs your Glee club can sing and they all have balloons or Jesus in the title” Figgins okayed a KISSING BOOTH? The show frames this act as narcissism on Finn’s part, but the fact that it even happened is mind blowing. When was the last time you heard about a kissing booth happening outside of fiction?
“New New York” (S5E14) almost won my S tier classification with the closing performance of “People”. I feel robbed that we didn’t get more Rachel and Artie friendship.
BOLSTERED OPINIONS (AKA: I’m Digging My Heels In On It)
Unfortunately, duets between Will Schuester and April Rhodes are amazing. Morrison and Chenoweth's voices go together perfectly. The circumstances of their plots together always ick me out, but they produce some amazing music.
In the cold hard light of my early twenties, Kurt and Blaine’s relationship makes me sad. They’re so young. It used to make me angry, but now it just reminds me of my least favorite exes. Their fights in Season 5 get weirdly vivid and dark… The clarity with which sentiments like “I’m resenting you because I always compete against you and for the first time you’re receiving positive attention” are delivered gives me whiplash. As someone who loved the pair in middle school, it’s hard to let go.
I like that the show is dynamic enough to react to the cast. I think the development of Brittany felt like a process of discovery. It was like the writers didn’t expect what they found when they dug deeper into her brain, which makes her episodes so fun. The “discovery” of Brittany as a character happens in “Britney/Brittany” (S2E2), kicking off the season with a really fun character exploration. The episode exemplifies what’s best about Glee’s sandbox “add as you go” approach to their storytelling. You get to color outside the lines and discover new characters in the universe.
I’ll be honest. I have not seen “The Glee Project”. Based only on the impact that I SUSPECT the show has on Glee, I think that it was a bad thing for Glee in the long run. It damaged the brand. It messed with the pacing and focus of the show itself in a way that impacts its long term watchability. I’m going to see how much I can watch of “The Glee Project” before I post again, and then I’ll update about my feelings. I’m sure there’ll be many. Glee AND reality TV? Buckle up.
The Christmas episodes always suck. Is it because Glee can’t do holidays? I think not, considering that their Valentine’s Day episode usually rules. Here’s my theory. Every Glee episode of Valentine’s Day is about love. Every Glee episode of Christmas is about Christmas. The former is able to play into more serializable plots that have more intrigue, and the latter has a distinctly seasonal interest.
NUMBER CRUNCHING
I made a chart that tracked my per-episode rating (5=S tier, 0=F tier, but luckily no episodes earned my F yet). This should clue you into the rollercoaster of Glee Quality Assurance:
For those curious, here’s how a chart of the series’ ratings fare over time:
To get a better sense of the quality spread, this quick donut chart will tell you my proportions for ratings:
Based on my rankings beside the writer’s name, could we possibly ascertain the best writer on the team? Here is the average score (1 is the lowest possible score, 5 is the highest) of each writer featured on the team. I sorted from highest to lowest.
Devil’s Triangle, 3.8 (Power in numbers, 3 screenwriters will usually beat 1)
Michael Hitchcock, 3.2
Brad Falchuk, 3.2
Ryan Murphy, 3.1
Ian Brennan, 3
Russel Friend & Garrett Lerner, 3
Chris Colfer (One-Timer), 3
Ned Martel (One-Timer), 3
Ali Adler, 2.7
Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, 2.7
Marti Noxon, 2.5
Jessica Meyer (One-Timer), 2
Sophia Rivka Rossi (One-Timer), 2
Stacy Traub (One-Timer), 2
Matthew Hodgson, 1.8
Ross Maxwell, 1.6
Clearly, when Fachuk/Murphy/Brennan align their powers, the Devil’s Triangle has dark forces that can result in very good television. I will say that Falchuk’s 0.1 point lead is probably the best argument for getting a Masters degree in screenwriting that I’ve ever found. He paid good money to be 0.1 better at writing Glee than Ryan Murphy.